knightsofkickass

Alli here with a confession. This isn't really a daily update, but more just something to hold me accountable and to actually admit it out loud...out type? Whatever.

So I've gained about 10lbs back over the course of the last couple months. My lowest was 218 and I'm at 229 as of my last weigh in. I'm struggling to find my rhythm and motivation. I know how to get things back on track. I know what choices I'm making that are leading to weight gain. But I'm struggling to just...do the damn thing.

And I've been avoiding this group because I feel guilty for not being more successful, even though that's all on me and not because of anything anyone here has said or done.

I'm just struggling with the mental aspect of weight loss all over again and it's really getting to me.

Lots of hugs for you, bb. I can imagine it's really frustrating, especially with how long you've maintained so much forward momentum. My own backslides have always led to about a 10 pound gain, too, but it's also the easiest 10 pounds to lose when you actively manage to find the motivation to turn it around, so don't let the number feel scary.

If there's anything we can do to help, let us know!

Thanks, dear <3

You have been very successful, bb, so don't feel down so much about a backslide. Yes, it sucks, but you are also acknowledging it and that is the first step to reverse it. We all understand backslides like that so you're in safe company admitting it. /hugs

Maybe find a new activity that will just get you back active first and that can lead you back to the healthy train? Or maybe this week you eat all the "bad" foods in the house and redo your cabinets and fridge with good, healthy food you like? Something to just refresh yourself and your mind?

You have been so immensely successful over such a long period of time that actually I find it incredibly inspiring. We all backslide sometimes, I have backslid a lot and yo-yo'd over the same 15 lbs over the last couple of years, but you have done so much for yourself that I feel like once you pick yourself up you will be right back on track. The first bunch of pounds always goes fast once you start again; Arden is right, don't let the number scare you, and don't ever feel guilty. <3

I've gotten myself in the habit of eating 5 small meals through the day on M-Thur. I just need to accomplish this at home on F-Sun.

The in-laws are moved out, except for B's brother who lives with us Sunday Night - Friday afternoon because of school. Which is great because I HAVE MY KITCHEN AGAIN!!!! I went through and started to reorganize my cabinets and fridge and I was telling B that this is the first time I've been able to do this since my back went out on me in OCTOBER.

and on that note - I CAN COOK MY OWN DINNERS AGAIN! I made fajitas for us last night. so yummy. Tonight is B's night which is probably leading to hot dogs, but eh. I'm making stuffed mexican peppers tomorrow.

I need to figure out my gameplan to restart my schedules in May. I haven't written in forever it feels like, and I need to work exercise into my daily routine again. Here's hoping I can make a plan I will actually stick too and not just come home and sit in my chair and not move until bedtime.

That's all I got >.>

♥ resisted starbucks this morning, it wasn't easy
♥ the restaurant i went to at lunch accidentally gave me a DOUBLE PORTION but i resisted eating the second one 8|
♥ made my book challenge goal for THE ENTIRE YEAR (55 books) thanks to bleach... whoops
♥ took a sledgehammer to my inbox and am demolishing all these four day old tags hiiiyahhh
♥ put dishes away
♥ went to bed really early after even taking a nap b/c my body is getting sick and i'm trying to fight it off
♥ maybe barely made calorie goal

I'll throw in a confession too since we are Sweets themed today. While I am super excited to be done with college classes and proud of myself, I'm also terrified b/c it means I have to launch back into active job search mode and that's been the source of massive anxiety and depression for me in the past. BUT this time I am determined it will be different, and I am trying to keep the mental momentum of success from college going, but I know that I will need a lot of support on this in the coming months. I'm giving myself a reprieve til May starts before I set new goals related to this, so I have a couple days just to breathe at least.

Edited 2016-04-27 12:53 (UTC)

biked 4.5 miles in 20 mins today

weighed again out of curiosity, another 1.2 lbs down and close to doubling my monthly weight loss goal. It's nice to suddenly see change after two and a half weeks of no change because of the period that wouldn't die.

tracked food for the day so far!

choooores

heading to work soon but going to sneak in some tags beforehand so I don't let the usual tuesday blues knock me back further than I already am from having been sick all weekend.

» Completed the Taxation with Representation challenge. Almost 6K. Woof.
» 2 more kiss ficlets down, I'm going to try and wrap these up tomorrow.

Edited 2016-04-27 03:33 (UTC)

♫ i wanna break every clock

√ i did a few tags, yay?
√ working on fic inspiration and requests
√ mental health silver lining

it was sunny for a while at least

i have, at least, figured out the cause of the three-day mid-grade panic /eyes the weather

so today's real goal is not getting blown off to oz

Stayed on top of my inbox

Started my Shannara Rewatch

Made a bazillion Shannara emotes

Cleaned my kitchen (so many dishes)

Toe is feeling a lot better, which is good cause I have to go for another check up with my Doctor today... I think (I should check that)

Better mental health day today which was, greatly needed after crashing hard yesterday.

♥ Cleaned my kitchen!
♥ Emptied my Eway inbox. yes this was a big deal this morning, it was out of control.
♥ VOTED! :D
♥ Walked to voting center, then to dinner, then for lowfat ice cream in a circuit back to the house.
♥ Almost doubled my step goal for the day!
♥ Still had a good calorie day :D
♥ Dungeoned some more in FF.
♥ Worked on an OC app >.> Almost done maybe?
♥ Gonna settle in for the night with some cherry picking tags and more Bleach >.>

+ 20 minutes on exercise bike
+ started The Raven Boys
+ emotionally compromised by last night's The Flash, I continue to be super trashy

I have either hit a mini-plateau in weight loss or I am just really fucking bloated, I don't know.

-walked 5985 steps
-managed a mini nap
-emptied my inbox

I feel like i'm trapped in a cycle of being so busy I don't have the energy to workout right now but I'm trying to at least get steps in and make other strides. Aside from reading a bunch of crime & punishment and going to softball senior night, I didn't accomplish much today because I was in a weird place after not getting the promotion I applied for

+ helped my brother bring all of his bins of children's clothing to some huge garage sale and sort it out
+ brought my brother the last of the filing cabinet drawers (3 drawers x 4 flights of stairs for each)
+ ate healthy (made real rice vs minute rice - it was a 76% success??)
+ then I stayed up way WAY too late

TUESDAY

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ARDEN

Christine

emily }

stella →

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Rynn

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ASHLEY

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christina